


Revelations

by Kozmotittspitchiner



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crime Scenes, M/M, human!AU, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 04:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2952923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kozmotittspitchiner/pseuds/Kozmotittspitchiner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You're so easy to take advantage of...” His voice is soft and smooth, as if he was whispering sweet nothings instead of something semi-offensive that Kaneki isn't sure where to place. He's sleepy, though, and not in the mood to make a scene, so he just leans his head into the touch of Tsukiyama's fingers, letting them card through his hair as much as they please.</p><p>Human!AU in which I attempt to keep all their characteristic oddities to them, despite of none of them being ghouls. This is going into a crime-story direction and contains an established relationship and the following sexy times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I would very much love to have a beta reader for this. Hit me up if you're up to chattering about Shuuneki and help me with this piece!!

“You're so easy to take advantage of...” His voice is soft and smooth, as if he was whispering sweet nothings instead of something semi-offensive that Kaneki isn't sure where to place. He's sleepy, though, and not in the mood to make a scene, so he just leans his head into the touch of Tsukiyama's fingers, letting them card through his hair as much as they please.  


“Are you taking advantage of me?” He's naked except for the blanket he's covered with, he's sweaty and comfortably exhausted. Two months ago, he'd been a virgin. Now... not so much. All due to the person to his side, and he's convinced that even if the answer was yes, he wouldn't mind. It wasn't like he was in love with the older student. Whatever they had, they hadn't put a label on it yet. Tsukiyama had found him right after he'd been neglected by the girl, no, woman, he had a crush on. He'd been a desperate, sad romantic and so easy to mess with. They'd been out for coffee, they played Squash, and a week later Kaneki let Shuu take him home, where he'd been seduced in an old fashioned, red-wine and 80s love songs way. A mixtape Tsukiyama had brought, as if he'd known the night would end up that way. It was the same mixtape that was playing now.  


“Cause I'm your lady...” Strong but slender fingers tugged him close, slid down his body and pressed their hips flush together. “...and you are my man...” Tsukiyama hummed along, and Kaneki wished he wouldn't understand the lyrics. He did, though, and the way they made him blush was functioning distraction from the previous topic.  


“I hate your mixtape.”  


“No, you don't, mon choupinet.”  


“What does that even mean?”  


“It means that I can see how much you like it from the way you're getting hard again already...”  


“N-no, not that, the last part. The french... stuff.”  


“That is only for me to know.”  


“You're not allowed to call me names in french and don't tell me what they mean.”  


He chuckles quietly, and starts to nip at his neck, his own hips starting to move and rub their lower bodies together, fingers still having a hold of Kaneki's hips. “...un chou à la crème is a cream filled puff pastry. There. Now you know.”  


“You said you studied social welfare. What's with all of this French?” Ken is surprised he can still speak clearly, but it's probably because he has properly unloaded all of his sexual energy before and isn't that sensitive to touch anymore. It's enjoyable, lying together like that.  


“Hmm, as you may know, I'm a Gourmet. And like all Gourmets I have an affinity for European culture... ah, and French, especially, as you also may know.”  
With that, Kaneki is literally being frenched and since he's pretty much okay with that, he just lets Shuu press him into the covers and lets his tongue invade his mouth. He is a sharp kisser, with a piercing tongue, and yet he manages to be gentle with him. It's amazing, and it's hot, and Ken forgets himself and closes his eyes as long fingers close around his cock and slowly, but passionately start to jerk him off. Tsukiyama will want no reward, like he's proven many times, and that's what truly helps him relax. He falls asleep to the sound of 'time after time' and the feeling of being cleansed with what feels like a satin cloth.

~ * ~  


In the morning, Tsukiyama is gone. Kaneki finds waffles on the counter of his small kitchen, though, powdered in sugar and grazed with two strawberries at the side. He wonders how the smell of cooking didn't wake him up earlier, but supposes he was just pretty knackered from their nightly activities. He blushes, even though no one's watching. Nightly activities. This is what he became, while months ago he wouldn't even have thought of having a male lover. He lifts it up and there's a note hidden under the plate:  
Gσσ∂ мσяηιηg, мση вιqυєт. I ѕєє, уσυ'νє ωσкєη υρ. I нα∂ тσ ℓєανє ƒσя му cяιѕιѕ cσυηѕєℓℓιηg cσυяѕє. Aη∂ ѕιηcє тнє נσу σƒ уσυ ωαкιηg υρ ηєχт тσ мє ωαѕ тαкєη ƒяσм мє, I ℓєƒт уσυ α ℓιттℓє ∂σℓcє тσ ƒєαѕт ση. Pℓєαѕє єηנσу ιт. I'ℓℓ cαтcн уσυ ℓαтєя, I ρяσмιѕє. -S  


Kaneki stares at the note for a moment. There are two things that irk him about it. First, the imagination of the Tsukiyama Shuu he knew doing crisis counselling in his flashy clothes, long legs crossed and chin propped up on one hand while he talked a married couple out of divorcing each other. It was weird. Second, the love that is put in not only the homemade cooking, but also the writing itself. It is both, written carefully and prettily, and it sounds... very much like a love letter. Like the person that wrote it was in love with him.  


He isn't ready for the weight of someone loving him. Even more so, it seems illogical to him that Shuu would be in love with him. He feels like he's nothing compared to him. Someone as colorful as Tsukiyama, he thinks, needs someone at his side that would make a lovely accessory. Like a petite girl that wears expensive dresses and handbags made of crocodile.  


Maybe he's just overvaluing things, though, he tells himself and sits down to start eating the waffles. They taste good, not too sweet. A Gourmet. Ken is smiling to himself and blushes when he realizes it. He's not ready for the weight of someone loving him. And he's far from being ready to be in love again. The last time had been bad enough.  
He takes the walk to his first and last module of the day and realizes that he's late on the reading he had to do for class. Damn, he's never late with his reading. He considers to try and cram the assigned chapters in before the seminar starts, but gives the thought up the instant that he hears Hide's voice chiding him.  


“Ahhhhhh, Kanekiiiiii, did you stay up long for dirty things last night again??”  


“I regret ever telling you about Tsukiyama.”  


“Don't be ashamed, I'm not ashamed that my best friend is a gay either!!”  


“D-don't say that so loudly, people might hear you! And I'm not gay, I'm just... confused...”  


“So the stuff you do with that Shuu-guy isn't gay at all, no?”  


“That's not what I mean! There's more than being gay or straight to sexuality, Hide...”  


“So you're a bisexual?”  


“I don't know.”  


“Come on, you gotta know. I, for example, know exactly that I only go for cute girls, no offense, I know the last one you went for kinda sorta broke your heart.”  


“Don't mention Rize-san, please...”  


“Well, it's fine, though, you've got Tsukiyama now. What kinda stuff did you do last night? Did he make you listen to 80s music again?”  


“Why do you even want to know all these details...?”  


“Because I'm your best friend, and as your best friend I gotta know who's fucking you and how they're fucking you. Did you get to be seme for once?”  


“I--- Yeah, I did.”  


“How was it?? Was it better than taking it up the ass? What does it feel like? Too tight?”  


“Hide!!”  


“What??”  


“I'm not telling you. I've got to hurry for my course now.”  
Kaneki's face has turned beet-red by now and he hides his hands in the pockets of his coat as he walks as if that could protect him from the invasiveness that is Hideyoshi Nagachika.  


“Oh, but did you hear, there was a murder in the 20th ward. They found a girl corpse, body parts missing. Some gross crazy must have taken her. So scary to think these things are happening right where we live.” Hide feigned a shudder, but his customary smile was back on his face only seconds later, leaving Kaneki speechless once again.  


“I'm not sure I wanted to know that...” he murmurs, and takes a look at his mobile for the time. “Sorry, I really gotta dash now. I'll text you later!”  


“Don't forget me!!” Hide shouts, but Ken hurries away as promised, almost running into a chattering group of girls as he crosses campus and heads for the lecture hall. It's cold outside, but he only really notices it when he enters the lecture hall and can slowly feel his limbs unfreeze.  


He can't really concentrate on the lecture on Yukio Mishima as much as he'd like to. He sees the professor's mouth move and sits between the other students as supposedly one of them but still doesn't feel like he's part of this event for some reason. His hands fumble for his phone, and for a while it just sits there in his hands while he tries to listen. He eventually gives up and presses the button that lets the screen light up. No message from Hide. No message from Tsukiyama.  


He wonders if that was what he was really hoping for and feels betrayed by himself for a second – oh, so he does care. He does want to be loved. He's greedy already. As if to look for a distraction, he opens his browser and jams in a search with his thumb: ｇｉｒｌ ｃｏｒｐｓｅ ２０ｔｈ ｗａｒｄ ｔｏｙｋｏ.  


And indeed, the search immediately spills out results. The most prominent one is from an online gossip magazine. It reads 'sick organ collector murders young, beautiful woman'. He gulps and selects the article, looking back at the board in front of him again to at least pretend he was partaking in class. He gets lost in doing so for a moment and finally forgets about the article, finding some inner peace by taking down notes by almost writing down the exact words the professor is saying. It's calming to feel like he's taking something home.  


The seminar ends and he's somewhat happy not to have to talk to anyone as he leaves the lecture hall. He thinks about getting some stuff from the grocery to fill up his fridge before he gets home, but his plans for the afternoon are interrupted when he sees Tsukiyama lean against the gateway to campus. Their eyes meet and Kaneki knows he's been waiting for him. He silently walks up to him, unsure of how their greeting will go. He isn't especially keen on something lovey-dovey and hopes that Shuu won't overdo it – and he isn't disappointed when what he gets is a short hug and Shuu's hand on the small of his back.  


“Guten Tag, Kaneki-kun~”  


He flushes slightly, mostly because he remembers the things they did last night. He feels like the eyes of all of his fellow students are on him out of a sudden, and quickly urges them to leave.  


“So that's what you mean by catching me later...” He murmurs, still unsure about what this even was. Was he being picked up by his boyfriend here? Or was it just coincidence?  


“I missed you.” Shuu says blatantly, and Ken stares at the ground in front of them, feeling like it'd swallow him at any second. He's happy, somehow, content with the fact that someone went out of their way just to come and see him. “So I decided to pick you up. Are you free for the afternoon?”  


He nods stupidly, and they both begin to walk together. It feels nice, walking with someone. Of course he did walk with Hide before, but this is something different, this is a person he slept with. It's somewhat of a special person, even though he's not ready to call him his significant other. Shuu seems to be happy to just walk next to him as well, and so they continue their way in silence, only sharing a glance every now and then.  


“Are you hungry?” Tsukiyama finally breaks the silence, his voice a melodic hum. What a strange first thing to ask. Kaneki is still a little sated from the waffles earlier, but there would be room in his stomach for some more, so he doesn't know what to answer and just goes with:  


“You're going to make me become chubby with all of that food.”  


“Oh, that'd only make you all the more adorable.”  


He's torn between just being embarrassed and slapping Shuu, so Ken once more says nothing and just fumbles for his phone to check the clock. “I suppose if you're hungry we can go somewhere...” His voice trails off as he unlocks the screen and is directed back towards the Google result he had clicked on earlier. At the sight he's presented with, his stomach clenches and he comes to a halt.  


“Kaneki-kun...?” Asks Tsukiyama, but he just shakes his head, frozen in mid-movement, eyes wide and scared. “What happened, carissimo?” He hears him try again, a soothing hand on his shoulder. The other hand softly winds his phone out of his hand and as he sees the article, Shuu hums in acknowledgment. “Oh.”  


“Oh? Is 'oh' all you're going to say to this? I... I can't... Shuu, I... Don't you understand what...” Tsukiyama seems completely indifferent until he notices that Kaneki thinks he should show some more emotion. After that, his brows furrow in thought, lips twitching downwards.  


“Kaneki-kun, verzeih mir, but don't you think she might have deserved this fate after messing with your heart?”  


At that, Kaneki just stares back at him, absolutely taken aback by his reaction. Once it sinks in, he takes a few steps back, forgetting to retrieve his phone in the process. 

“How can you say that?”  


“I don't...”  


“You know what, just don't say anything anymore!” His voice is still shaken by the news he's gotten, and he begins to feel dizzy as his head slowly processes it's real information, something that really happened. At the same time, he's repelled by the lifeless reaction he'd gotten from his lover. “I'm definitely not hungry. And I don't want to spend my afternoon with you.” He moves to snatch his phone out of Tsukiyama's hand. The picture of Rize is still looking at him. Sick organ collector... his stomach clenches once more.  


“I'll see you... somewhen.” He says firmly and can see that Shuu is rising a hand towards his chest before he turns around to leave, his expression having wavered from confused to hurt. He can't get himself to care, though. The first person he's ever been in love with is dead. Murdered. And the one he thought would be there to give him comfort from now on proved to be completely incapable of even processing how that information could affect him. The further he's away from Shuu, the more all of it sinks in and he isn't even sure where he's headed to. His phone buzzes, and he's sure it's Tsukiyama calling him, but he simply presses the reject button.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about 11 AM. He's still tangled up in his sheets, having grabbed Tsukiyama's additional blanket that was still there in his sleep. It takes a moment for him to process what he's doing. It takes a moment for him to remember all the things that happened the day before, and then there's the sickening realization that he's subconsciously holding on to someone that isn't there, someone that used to be there, someone that had been about to be his special someone, but wasn't anymore.

It's about 11 AM. He's still tangled up in his sheets, having grabbed Tsukiyama's additional blanket that was still there in his sleep. It takes a moment for him to process what he's doing. It takes a moment for him to remember all the things that happened the day before, and then there's the sickening realization that he's subconsciously holding on to someone that isn't there, someone that used to be there, someone that had been about to be his special someone, but wasn't anymore.  


He lets go of the blanket, pushing it away with so much force that it halfway slides off the bed. He had arrived home the day before in a strange state and ended up isolating himself from Hide's text messages, eating a microwaved burger that tasted gross compared to the things Shuu cooked for him before and indulging himself in reading as much self-pitying poetry as he could manage. He's about to keep on living like that, skip University and bury himself in his books, but all of his plans come to an abrupt halt when the doorbell rings.  


The sound cuts through the silence of his apartment, making him wince. He's sure that it's Tsukiyama, maybe with a bundle of flowers, trying to apologize, but he doesn't want to see him. He wants to see him. He groans and tugs the blanket over his head when the doorbell rings again. He's going to tell him to never contact him again, he thinks, and groggily gets up to answer the door. He presses the button that enables him to communicate with Shuu, luckily without him having to see his face or even more so, the look on his face.  


“Don't come to see me again, please.” he says, surprised at how steady his voice sounds, and he's about to let go of the button so he doesn't have to hear Tsukiyama's apologies anymore.  


“My name is Koutaro, Tokyo Police Department. I have a few questions for you.”  


Again, all of his plans and thoughts slide against a wall in full force, and his heart begins to beat loud, hard and quick. He's sure this is about Rize, and he's also sure he doesn't want to talk about it. He continues to muse about the predicament, but then he notices that he's been silent for about half a minute and that the police is standing in front of his door and that he's being impolite, maybe even making himself suspicious. The thought scares him, but he's quick to answer.  


“Come in. I'm sorry, I just woke up.” He presses the button that opens the main entrance door for the officer and quickly moves to get his bathrobe and throw it over his slender, barely clad figure. It's rugged, and it reminds him of Shuu because of that one time he'd woken up in the morning to find Tsukiyama linger on his couch, naked under his bathrobe, reading his books and only slowly looking up to meet his eye, smiling like he just solved a mystery of his own.  


He combs through his hair with his fingers, and then there's a knock already. His heart is still beating wildly then he opens the door to see that the officer is young, stern, and unbelievably tall. He somehow doesn't look the invasive, elderly type he had imagined, but that doesn't take any of Ken's nervousness away as he lets him in.  


“Do you want a coffee, Koutaro-san?” he asks carefully, wanting to seem like a decent human being while he felt more like the homeless version of his usual self.  


“No, that won't be necessary, thank you.” Comes the polite response, and he wishes that he would have said yes for a moment just so that he could busy himself with making it while they began to talk, and then later hold on to the warmth of the cup, but now that the police man declined he has no choice but to gesture towards his couch.  


“Please sit down. I'm sorry it's not very tidy. I didn't think I'd get a visitor...” He hears himself say shyly, and it's like he's not acting out of his own accord, it's like he's so nervous he sees himself do things from above where those things can't hurt him.  


“It's perfectly alright.” He's so damn polite, and Ken might have even found him nice if his face wasn't made of cool marble that he couldn't read anything out of. The officer places a silver briefcase next to his feet as he sits down, and for a moment his eyes get hung up on it and he wonders what's in there, wonders if it's weapons or files, or maybe something mundane like a lunch box.  


It seems his mind is desperately looking for distraction, but then the officer opens his mouth again and he's confronted with what he doesn't want to talk about.  


“As you may have figured out, this is about the recent death of Kamishiro Rize. It's unfortunate that you had to learn about it by the media in such a cruel way. It seems investigative information has been leaked prior to the appearance of those articles, and we're currently working on repressing any further reports on the matter. It might calm you down to know that we can not be a hundred percent sure the culprit has been an organ collector.”  


He dully nods along. While the policeman is sitting, he is still standing upright, and he isn't sure how much longer he'll be able to take it. Organ collector or not, Rize had been killed, and he isn't certain if a change of labels of the killer calms him down.  


“I am here, because you have been one of Miss Kamishiro's contacts, though I am aware that your correspondence has died down about a month ago.”  


It had only been a month since he's been rejected and a new person had stepped into his life, and he was already trying to ban that new person out of it again? It seems strange for all of these things to have happened in such a short time, but again, he just stupidly nods along.  


“I have to ask you to tell me your story. Tell me about your acquaintanceship with Miss Kamishiro, how long it lasted, what it was about, and finally how it ended.”  


He swallows thickly. His throat feels very dry out of a sudden, and again he finds himself yearning for hot coffee. “Yes, I... I just need something to drink first.” He mumbles stupidly and moves towards the kitchen to at least get himself a glass of water. He knows the officer can watch his back as he does so, with his apartment being one big room. He returns, holding the glass in one hand, and decides to sit down on the couch next to the investigator. He can't do this while standing. Koutaro seems to understand, and just calmly watches him gather himself.  


“It all started a few months ago. We... we kept visiting the same cafe.”  


“Can you tell me the name of that establishment?”  


“Cafe Anteiku. We...” He can see the officer scribble something down and he doesn't know if he should just continue, or wait until he finished writing the information down. Koutaro gestures, and he continues:  


“...we always sat there, and we were reading the same author. The same books even. I...” He takes a sip of his water. “I thought she was very beautiful. And just like that, I fell in love with her, well, with the general idea of her, with sharing my interests and all... she always seemed so... cultivated. So mature. It went on like that for a while, I'd just go sit in the cafe and watch her from afar, and sometimes she'd watch me back, so I thought... no, I hoped she liked me. One day I mustered all of my confidence and asked her to go to a bookstore with me, and she said yes. I was... very happy, that day.” He lowers his head. Remembering it had hurt before, and now with her being dead, it hurt even more. It feels surreal how much his heart clenches.  


“And then?”  


“We went to that bookstore. We talked a lot. We had coffee and some snacks at another place.... ah, I forgot the diner's name... We even exchanged e-mail addresses, and I was so so sure I'd marry her one day. It's silly, isn't it?”  


For the first time, the very hint of a smile tugs at Koutaro's lips as he gently shakes his head and murmurs: “No, not at all. Please continue.”  


“Well, we e-mailed each other. Every day after University, I'd send her an e-mail about my day, and I'd wait until I fell asleep for something to come back. It hardly ever did, but then there'd be a reply in the morning, and I'd start my day with a smile.”  


“But your frequent contact stopped a month ago. What happened?”  


“We went on another date. At least... at least I thought it was one. But when we said goodbye and I...” Talking about this is awkward. Talking about this hurts. “...leaned in for a kiss, she'd notice what I wanted and suddenly... she laughed at me. She laughed, saying that this amuses her, and that she feels sorry, but I was no more than a little brother to her. I was hurt, and she didn't write me any more e-mails. This is how it stopped.”  


The officer nods, taking note of that as well. Kaneki looks up and wonders what it is he writes down when a pang of fear hits him and his fingers twitch around the cool glass. Does this make him a suspect? Being rejected by her? But if he was the killer, he'd never tell the police all of this, he hopes, no, he prays and nervously waits for Koutaro to ask him more questions.  


“With being hurt like that... did you have thoughts of revenge?” A cool gaze meets his, and he wonders if he can see how quick his heart is beating. Does the police really do it like that? Ask direct questions? But this isn't some crime show, so probably, they do. He shakes his head.  


“No, never. I was sad, but not angry.”  


The officer nods and he soundlessly exhales in relief. It seems he believes him.  


“We're almost done, thank you, Kaneki. Now, do you know if she had trouble with anyone else? Do you know of more rejected men, or something along those lines? Anyone that would be willing to hurt her?”  


Again, he shakes his head. “No, no one. I don't know any of her friends, or if she had any, for that matter.”  


The investigator nods and gets up, straightening his coat in the process. “Thank you for your time and cooperation, Kaneki. We will get back to you if more questions arise, but until then... Have a good day.” A strong hand is extended to shake his and he does so, still feeling absurd in his underwear and bathrobe, talking to someone this formal.  


“Thank you as well, and a good day for you, too.” He says, and the man is gone just as quickly as he'd come, leaving no trace that he'd been there in the first place. Ken sighs when he closes the door behind him. His heart rate is only just starting to slow down. He has been questioned during a murder investigation, and he still has to process that fact. 

He moves to get rid of his bathrobe and unceremoniously decides to shower. The hot stream of water proves useful in calming him down. Still, as he stands there and rinses the shameful sweat of an evening and night spent doing nothing off his body, fractions of the conversation go through his mind.  


Did you have thoughts of revenge?  


Revenge? Anything but that. Hide had tried to make up for his broken heart by talking as much shit about the girl as possible, but that was just what friends did, and in the end it meant nothing. He hadn't even enjoyed badmouthing her.  


Anyone that would be willing to hurt her?  


How would he know? As he said, he didn't know any of her friends. But then, as he steps out of the shower to cover himself with his towel, he thinks of one distinct sentence:  


_Don't you think she might have deserved this fate after messing with your heart?_  


The notion is too much for a moment and he tries to shake it off, but to no avail. There's one person he knows, one person he thinks he knows very well, that expressed how it was okay for her to have been murdered. Shuu. But no, he can't believe it, he doesn't want to believe it, not with how close they've been and with how much the other male still lingers on his mind.  


Suddenly, though, he's feeling like he's withholding important facts for the investigation, he feels like he's protecting Shuu, what is complete nonsense seeing that it simply didn't occur to him earlier. In a whim, he dries himself enough to go and use his phone, and he calls Tsukiyama.  


One dialing tone. Two. Usually, the other would pick up immediately, so why doesn't he do it now?  


“Kaneki-kun! Please don't hang up on me again!!” Shuu is breathing heavily for some reason, like he just ran.  


“No, I won't. What are you so exhausted for?”  


“I went for a round of Squash, I didn't assume you'd call me, I'm so, so, so sorry for--”  


“Did you go play Squash by yourself?”  


“I took my man-servant. Kaneki, I--”  


“You have a man-servant?” One more reason to end the call. He had a fair idea of how decadent Shuu was living, but he didn't know it was that bad. What does he even know about Tsukiyama?  


“Yes, he's been working for my family for a long time. Kaneki, I want you to know that I am sorry for what I said and that I have never missed anyone as much as I missed you those past hours that we spent fighting and I hope you're calling me because you're willing to see me again!”  


He hesitates. Is he willing to see him again? Or does he just need the confirmation that his thoughts from earlier were wrong, and that Shuu has nothing to do with the case? But then again, he had missed him, too, just that he hated that he did.  


“Calm down. You're rambling.” He says, and begins to walk up and down, phone pressed to his ear.  


“Does that mean you forgive me?”  


“No. But I still want to see you.” At least he's being halfway honest, and it's like he can hear Shuu smile at the other end of the line.  


“I will stop by your place as soon as I took a shower and got into less comfortable clothes, don't you worry, mon choupinet.”  


“No. I don't want you to stop by here. I want to... I want to see your place. We've seen each other for so long, but I've never seen it.”  


“Ah, but... oh, the mansion...” A mansion? Kaneki winces. Who had he even been sleeping with?  


“...I will try to get it ready for a visitor as special as you. I'll e-mail you the address when we stopped the call.”  


“Alright. See you th--”  


“Kaneki-kun? I'm glad.”  


“Yeah. Yeah... me too. See you.”  


He ends the call without another word. He can't help but feel like all this time he'd missed out on things, like he walked through life with a blindfold. He never asked Rize what her friends were like. He never bothered to even wonder how Shuu's life had been before him. But he also feels like it's good that he wonders now, it's good that he begins to question things – it just seems strange something good would have been unleashed onto him as a follow up of a murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand the plot gradually thickens. I'm happy any of you read that second chapter of mine, even though it took me a while to finish it. I'm still looking for beta-readers, and of course I'd be happy to get feedback.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he stops at the assigned address and looks up, he feels like he's not really there. He feels like he's walking in a dream scape, because clearly, this richness in front of him can't be reality. His reality, anyways. His reality is a shabby one room apartment. Why, why, why, did Shuu always visit him instead of inviting him here, how on earth was even being in a surrounding like that bearable for him, having grown up in a freaking mansion? How was being with a human like him bearable for him? He thought of the petite girls he pictured that'd go so much better with Tsukiyama than him. They'd arrive here with a driver and a limousine, not by foot.

As he stops at the assigned address and looks up, he feels like he's not really there. He feels like he's walking in a dream scape, because clearly, this richness in front of him can't be reality. His reality, anyways. His reality is a shabby one room apartment. Why, why, why, did Shuu always visit him instead of inviting him here, how on earth was even being in a surrounding like that bearable for him, having grown up in a freaking mansion? How was being with a human like him bearable for him? He thought of the petite girls he pictured that'd go so much better with Tsukiyama than him. They'd arrive here with a driver and a limousine, not by foot.  


There's a gigantic iron gate in front of him, all pretty and antique with its half-moon shaped swirls and the hedge that it directly passes into. He presses the doorbell and waits. The seconds that pass after that seem to stretch out for forever and for a moment he wonders whether he has pressed it at all before he can hear static, followed up by a voice that isn't Shuu's.  


“Hallo? Tsukiyama Household, Von Rosewald at your service!”  


“It's Kaneki. Kaneki Ken. I... I'm here to see Shuu?” He isn't sure where the question mark in his intonation had come from, but it was there and it screamed i n s e c u r i t y.  


“Wundervoll! Me and the master have been awaiting your arrival! I'll let you in, follow the pathway to the front door, please!”  
His way of speaking reminds him of Tsukiyama. Plus, calling someone master seems strange seeing how it's the 21st century and no one does that anymore. He walks the path he's been told to. It's plastered with large bricks and wide enough for a car to drive across it. It's long enough to be taken by car, too, he needs at least five minutes until he stands in front of a large double sided door. There's a lion head door knocker – how old fashioned – and he hesitantly uses it to knock three times.  


The door opens, and it's still not Shuu awaiting him. More like... a more slender, tinier and younger version of him. If he would have guessed, he would have thought it was a relative of his rather than a servant. What was he called? It was something German he wasn't able to memorize easily, so he can't be polite and call him by name and stutters for a moment, raising his hand for a greeting wave.  


“I'm here.” He says dumbly and stiffly, noting how the guy in front of him just keeps on smiling. It probably doesn't even matter what he says.  


“Tsukiyama-san is awaiting you upstairs. Please hand me your coat, and I'll lead the way.”  
Shuu had apparently been eager to make his faux pas up to him earlier, so why wasn't he even greeting him personally now? It's strange. Like stepping into a world that wasn't his and that he never wanted to have anything to do with, either. He still complies with everything that's offered to him because A) the curiosity is eating him up inside and B) that's just the way he is. Always make compromises, always live with how it is, never really complain. There's no time for self-consciousness now, though, since he's lead up the stairs of a luxurious mansion, cliché, with paintings on the walls and red velvet, stucco at the top of the walls... There isn't much time for gaping, either, since another large pair of doors is opened and he's looking upon a scene that he had imagined to be something like this, but something not quite like this at the same time.  


The table in front of him is huge. It's long enough for a good round of thirty people, but there's just two chairs at each end of the table. It's prettied up with candles, but what really catches his eye is the middle of the table, where a large dinner is covered by expensive silver. The smell of it has already spread throughout the room, though, and it makes his stomach growl. Ah, he hasn't eaten much all day, it makes sense. What's missing, though, is Shuu, and yet the chair is shoved back for him by the slender fellow.  


“Nur eine Minute, Tsukiyama-san will be there for you soon. In the meantime, please tell me what you wish to drink. The master has told me to get you anything you wish for.”  


“I'd just like water, or juice, please...” He sounds like a three year old, doesn't he?  


“No wine for the young mister? Tsukiyama-san can recommend the Chianti to this special dish, he has talked about it all evening...”  


“Just uhm, mango juice if you have that, thanks. I'm no wine drinker.” Doesn't that guy realize that he fits here about as well as a goat in a porcelain store? He's answered with a hum, though, and finally the guy disappears and leaves him to himself. He gives a soft sigh and slumps down a little, discarding the straight posture he had before.  


He feels like he was attending a 20s themed party in a space suit and for a moment he regrets coming here at all – until he can hear the door open behind him. Music begins to play, and he knows it's Shuu, because only Shuu would insist on music for his entrance. Still, at the sound of his steps drawing closer, his heart skips a beat. He doesn't want to have missed him at all, but he did, and it becomes painfully obvious when he can feel long fingers squeeze his shoulders. They begin to massage him gently.  


“Ah, Kaneki-kun, so tense...”  


“What's with Händel? Where's your 80s hit songs...”  


“The sarabande... I could not resist. I deemed it fit for our reunion.” Shuu's thumbs move in the rhythm of the music, softly moving muscle over bone, and his touch is enough to make him forget about the occasion for a moment. “It's about a Spanish dance called zarabande. It seems to have been especially popular in the 16th and 17th centuries, initially in the Spanish colonies on the Americas...” He wants to say that he hasn't asked for a history lesson, but Tsukiyama's hands slide down his chest and he moves in so close he can feel his hot breath against his ear. “In its time, it was controversial since it was deemed too indecent— some said it was 'invented in hell'.”  


“ _You_ were invented in hell. Stop that. People might be watching.”  


“Don't worry, they have eyes, but they do not see, because I told them not to. Besides, I have sent them out of the room for now... There's no need... to fret.” As he stops speaking, he sends little kisses across the crook of Kaneki's neck.  


“Shuu. No. Not now. I'm serious...” He mumbles, but damn, he's too weak, and he turns his head a little to plant a kiss on Tsukiyama's cheek that makes the older male's lips twitch into a smile. Seemingly pacified, Shuu removes himself from him and begins to stroll towards his respective seat at the other end of the table, long fingers brushing over the edge of it as he walks.  


He seems so relaxed, and Kaneki briefly wonders if he ever had been really upset, or if it all had just been show for him to cave in. Either way, the original purpose of his visit comes back to his mind and he stiffens, putting both hands on the cool surface in front of him to calm himself down.  


“As soon as I heard you were coming over, I began to prepare this dinner for you. As I told you, I call myself a gourmet for a reason... and I want to show you why. And I want to make up for what I said to upset you.” He sits down, and Ken's eyes follow him as he folds up a napkin to gently tug it into his collar. “I didn't mean it the way you took it.”  


“It didn't sound like you didn't 'mean it that way' for me. It looked like you didn't even notice what was wrong about your statement.” He replies, and keeps being surprised by how cool his voice sounds when he's scolding Tsukiyama.  


“You should understand that your safety and well being comes first for me. Which is why I naturally dislike people who hurt you, Kaneki-kun.”  


“Naturally dislike and feeling like they deserve to die are two different things.”  


“What I wanted to explain to you is that I was ridden by my emotions when I said that. It's your fault for making me fall so hard for you I cannot think clearly...”  


“Hmph.” Kaneki doesn't know what to respond. Can't think clearly, huh? Not clearly enough to bash in someone's head, maybe? The image of the detective sitting in his living room flickers through his mind for some reason, tall, calm and collected, but a threat nonetheless. A threat brought to him because someone murdered the girl he'd been in love with. Someone who keeps saying more and more suspicious things, someone who's touch he can't quite resist. He feels slightly sick, but he knows he has to eat in a moment.  


“Please, pasticcino, forgive me. I didn't understand at the moment, but I do now and I'll never say such a thing again.”  


“Alright. You're let off the hook. For now...” He's not sure whether he's really being forgiving, or if he just wants Shuu to stop apologizing in European languages already. Tsukiyama hums in approval and claps his hands. His man-servant enters a moment later, smiling just as brightly as when he left. Ken makes a mental note to ask Shuu about his name again later. The food is uncovered ceremoniously and the enticing scent that he got a little sniff of earlier gets stronger. He can't really tell what it is, just that it's meat, and that it's served with a fancy arrangement of potato and vegetables, with artistic swirls of sauce over it. Still, all in all the scenery seems obscene with the classical music playing in the background. He's wearing the same old woolen sweater he's been wearing all week, for crying out loud, and has never had an interest in a fancy world such as this. He still feels out of place, but he's not going to mention it and just play tough.  


“This looks nice.” He says, when they're left alone again after the servant made a show out of cutting pieces off the meat and put it on each their plates, and Shuu smiles mysteriously.  


“I promise, you love it.”  


“How would you know? I never had it before.”  


“Ah, I just know...” A gentle laugh. He's never seen someone who was so happy just because of food, but then again, it's just another quirk of Tsukiyama, and he isn't really surprised. He doesn't know what to say, so he just cuts off a piece and stuffs it into his mouth. The flesh seems to melt on his tongue, and it has a strange, sweet aftertaste. It really is good. It might even be the best he's ever eaten. The hunger he felt earlier returns to him in a sudden blow and he begins to eat quicker, all under the amused gaze of Shuu, who only slowly cuts through his piece and eats it with the quiet joy of a savorer. The silence hangs between them, but it's not uncomfortable and mixed with the music. Tsukiyama decides to break it, though.  


“Have you read 'Hell Screen' by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, Kaneki?”  


“Hm? Yeah, I did. For University. You liked it?” He replies in between bites, trying to remember details about the short story. It's been good, but he can't exactly remember it's content, just that it left him with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he had to dispel with a walk.  


“ 'Chained inside the carriage is a sinful woman. When we set the carriage afire, her flesh will be roasted, her bones will be charred: she will die an agonizing death. Never again will you have such a perfect model for the screen. Do not fail to watch as her snow-white flesh erupts in flames. See and remember her long black hair dancing in a whirl of sparks!' ” Shuu quotes, all solemn voice and drawn out words, and suddenly Kaneki can remember the contents of the story. Luckily, he's just finished his plate and reaches for a sip of the juice he ordered.  


“Why would you bring that up during dinner?” He laughs, though. It's as if eating has somehow placated him. He feels somewhat normal again. He's having a conversation with his lover over dinner, a conversation he just brings up because he knows he loves literature, and because he cares for him. It doesn't seem important that he doesn't belong here.  


“It went through my mind, seeing you devour the food.”  


“Now that you say it, what is this I just ate? I think I want some more, actually...”  


Tsukiyama just smiles that same smile that had been painted on his face when Kaneki woke up and found him reading his books, wearing his bathrobe and doesn't answer.  


He's served the second round he wished for, and after eating it he feels comfortably full. Comfortable enough to just keep conversing with Tsukiyama like he hadn't been involved in a murder investigation in the morning. They get up and Shuu takes him to see his library. It's huge, and for a moment he feels like Belle in the Beauty and the Beast as he skims the rows of books, his eyes wide and fascinated. There's a large section that is devoted to nothing but cookbooks.  


“You really are a gourmet...” He murmurs, and Tsukiyama puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.  


“I told you so.”  


“So, are you reading those in your freetime?”  


“Oui.”  


“I can't see how they'd be entertaining, but to each his own I suppose...” Kaneki smiles softly and turns, just to be embraced by Shuu, his hands running down his back and coming to rest on his bottom, their foreheads touching as they just stand there for a moment, in peace.  


“What's your man-servant called again? I forgot after he let me in...”  


“Kanae von Rosewald. He's a sweet boy, and he's always served me well.”  


“Did he serve you in more than one way?”  


“Are you jealous, Kaneki-kun?”  


“Would you like me to be?”  


“Yes, perhaps.”  


“Then I am jealous. He's pretty. He's much prettier than me.”  


“Not to me.” Shuu hums sweetly, and moves in to kiss him, tongue tasting Kaneki's bottom lip before it's forced inside his mouth. He's kissing him softly and urgently at the same time, and the warmth it causes to spread in his chest overwhelms Kaneki, so he doesn't object, just sighs gently and closes his arms around Tsukiyama's waist.  


They make it to his bedroom after that, constantly having to stop and keep kissing each other on their way, so when they arrive they're already messy, hair out of place and several buttons of clothing opened. Shuu's pupil's are dilated, he notices as his back meets the mattress and he looks up at him, Kaneki's hand closing around the back of his neck. So it's really true, desire makes predators out of all of us, he thinks, but his thoughts are interrupted when he feels Tsukiyama's hardness press against his groin.  


“A police officer was at my place this morning.” He says, and he doesn't know why he says it, why he thinks that of all times now is a good idea to voice it out loud.  


“I don't want you thinking of other men while we're in bed.” Shuu replies, and it amuses Kaneki how strained his voice sounds, like it's hard for him to get out a clear sentence. There's no flinch at the mention of the police... ah, why is he still subconsciously looking for evidence?  


“He was tall... and handsome...”  


Tsukiyama growls at that, low and guttural, and grabs his wrists to pin him against the mattress. Ken knows he's still giving Shuu a hard time on purpose because of what he said about Rize. Even though she's dead, or maybe even more so, she's vivid in his mind and even though she hurt him, he feels like he has to defend her. Shuu's grip is hard, and he dips down to suck at his throat so rough that he can feel teeth on skin. Still, he thinks of Rize, and it makes him smile.  


_Biting his lip and smiling strangely now and then, he stared straight ahead, never taking his eyes off the carriage. And the girl in the carriage - ah, I don't think I have the courage to describe in detail what she looked like then._  


Hell Screen is going through his mind like he hasn't forgotten all the details all of the sudden, like all it needed to evoke the imagery of it was Tsukiyama's quote earlier. He closes his eyes and the image of the burning woman is replaced by Rize. Was that why Shuu was bringing it up earlier? Did he have the same image, too? His head begins to spin, but for the first time since they set foot into the bedroom he properly reacts and pushes back, grabbing a fistful of Tsukiyama's hair to make him stop leaving marks.  


“The pale whiteness of her upturned face as she choked on the smoke...” he whispers, lets go and roughly gives Shuu's chest a push. “The tangled length of her hair as she tried to shake the flames from it...” Within what seems like a blink, he's the one on top, he's the one pinning Tsukiyama down and he can hear him whimper from the way he's making him spread his legs and tugs him close, their groins crashing together. “The beauty of her cherry-blossom robe as it burst into flame...” Maybe, just maybe he's going slightly mad from all of the things that had been happening, but he's angry at Tsukiyama, angry for knowing he purposefully put these words into his brain just so he imagined his first love burn and he roughly begins to finger him, using two fingers at once and mercilessly scissoring them. “...you're sick...” He groans, and Shuu spreads his legs a little wider even and moves his hips according to the rhythm like it doesn't hurt at all.  


“...I'm just what you make me, Kaneki-kun...” Tsukiyama hisses through his teeth and they clash shortly after that. It's messy, sweaty and aggressive sex, but after it Kaneki feels like that was what he needed to clear his head all along. Which is strange, seeing that he didn't even know how sex felt like a few months ago. He just groggily drops on Shuu's chest and doesn't even bother to move out of him, he just lies there, staring at the opposite wall. There's a writing desk, with a flower vase. The flower vase contains....lilies. White, some sprinkled red.  


“Shuu..?”  


“Yes?”  


He finally pushes himself off Tsukiyama, hearing how he exhales through his nostrils. In relief? Was the strain too much for him?  


“What kind of flowers are those? Lilies?” He asks, sleepily so. His lids begin to feel heavy.  


“Spider lilies, oui. Do you know about their meaning?” Shuu begins to run his fingers across his chest in soothing circles and his eyes slide shut.  


“No.”  


“It is believed that if you meet a person you’ll never see again, these flowers will grow along your path.” The sentence still registers in his brain before he falls asleep, and again he thinks of Rize, and how it's her he's never going to see again. Shuu does not stop caressing him, even as he's asleep, his nose buried in his hair. He's absorbing Kaneki's scent, Kaneki's presence so much that he stays awake until the first of the spider lilies petals fall and the cousin of death takes him to his realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, I really love reading into literature and placing lots of little easter eggs for people to notice and be happy that they're smart...! Also, I didn't even plan for this chapter to end in smut it just.... happened. I'm sorry if some of it was too experimental for you, and I hope it was a fun read!


End file.
